25 lyrical missteps that made your favorite rappers wish they could go back in time and rewrite their rhymes.
25. "Verse number 2 do the damn thang
keeps on my neck pocket's full of Ben Franks."
Yung Joc, "It's Goin' Down."
Album: New Joc City
A classic case of saying...absolutely nothing.
24. "There's no need to lie folk,
Why you sleepin' wit ya eyes closed?"
Timbaland, "Get on the Bus"
Album: Why Do Fools Fall in Love (Soundtrack)
Well, Tim, if I had to endure your mediocre rhymes all the time I'd definitely sleep with my eyes, ears, and nose closed as well.
23. "I can double my density
from three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly."
Canibus, "Funk Master Flex Freestyle"
Obviously, Canibus slept through 10th grade when they went over units of measurement.
22."Thirty-eight revolve like the sun round the Earth."
Jay-Z, "It's Hot"
Album: Volume 3: Life and Times of S.Carter
And, Jay-Z skipped his Geography class.
21. "N****s in the Bronx call me Lex
cause I push a Lex, and I rock a Rolex
and I lounge on Lex', and I love sex."
Peter Gunz, "Deja Vu: Uptown Baby"
Album: Make It Reign
What are the odds that Cory Gunz ghostwrote this for his dad at age 9?
20. "Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin."
Dr. Dre, "Nuthin' But a 'G' Thang"
Album: The Chronic
Aren't we glad that he eventually decided to hire some ghostwriters?
19. "When it's hot I'm duckin' them people with my firearm
Look I be straight thuggin."
Turk, "Trife Livin"
Album: Young and Thuggin'
If he's the one with the firearm, why's he duckin'?
18."My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh)
A twelve song LP, that's thirty-six mics (uh-huh)"
Redman "5 Boroughs"
Album: The Corruptor Soundtrack
Apparently, Redman's calculator is miles ahead of the game.
17. Don't try to treat me like I ain't famous
My apologies, are you into astrology
Cause I'm, I'm tryin to make it to Uranus
Kanye West, "Gettin' It In"
Album: Kiss of Death
Oh I get it: there's Libra, Sagittarius, Scorpio, and then Uranus. And you say Kanye doesn't deserve to have his image displayed next to the word 'genius' in Webster's Dictionary?
16."Hood n***a from Bankhead, I stay by Grandma Nana
I lay by my banana, dumpin' and punkin' monkeys."
Young Dro, "Shoulder Lean"
With all the money T.I. makes from music and movies, you'd think he would at least invest in a decent ghostwriter for his sidekick.
15."When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets."
LFO, "Summer Girls"
Cut them some slack. These guys graduated from the prestigious Vanilla Ice Institute of Hip-Hop and decided to try their hands at random word association.
14. "Sometime y'all get crimey crimey, grimy grimy
But those with a tiny hiney they get whiny whiny."
Cam'Ron, "5 Boroughs"
Album: The Corruptor Soundtrack
Someone should have informed Cam that this choppy choppy rhyme thing is silly silly.
13."I'm hungry for cheese like Hungry, Hungry Hippo."
Project Pat ("Ballers")
Album: Ghetty Green
Extra points for giving us one of the worst songs ever known to man.
12."If you don't bring back my m****f*****n money or my m***f****n dope, you can forget about Christmas n***a, cause you ain't gon even see New Years."
Master P ("Do You Know")
11."It's like fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell the blood of a jealous a*s punk."
Prodigy ("Click Clack")
Album: Blood Money
No longer inspired by hardcore hip-hop, Prodigy turns to nursery rhymes for some equally uninspiring lyrics.